In honor of Valentine’s Day

To the man who puts up with my longing for babydoll sheep, the fabric scraps all over the living room, the longing for freeze-ice popsicles in the middle of February, and the million summer trips to garden stores … happy Valentine’s Day. You make our life a much more relaxed, happy existence. You are a loyal friend and I am glad you are mine.

Pablo Neruda, XVII:

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you and yours.

I might be a bit biased but …

My little family is the cutest. 🙂

There is nothing on earth I love more than coming home from work to my husband, two adorable dogs, and cute little house. Bliss.

It was love, and then it wasn’t, and then … it might be?

Browsing Craigslist is a dangerous thing. And I don’t mean because of the Craigslist killer, or the creepy personal ads …

I mean because of the furniture section, and how I easily fall in love with wood furniture and chairs. Ask Matt – I fall hard.

It always starts out innocently enough: “I’m just browsing because I’m bored. Clearly I won’t buy anything, our house doesn’t need more furniture. We don’t have any space. Well, surely, except, maybe if we sold this piece or gave away that piece. It would be nice to have a piece of furniture for all of my fabric, instead of just plastic bins. And wouldn’t it be nice if it was turquoise, like the rest of our house? With glass doors so you could see the beautiful folded fabric? And vintage and unique, and cheap? And oh, I don’t know, maybe JUST LIKE THIS:

http://kansascity.craigslist.org/fuo/1844183562.html

Heavenly (except for those orange knobs, but even I can change those!). Swoon-inducing. Twitterpating. Love.

I text the owner something along the lines of: OMG I am in love with your cabinet please tell me it’s for sale please please please. OK, maybe a little less creepy than that.

She texts back: Sorry, someone is already interested. They are coming by on Monday. I text back: I can come today (Saturday). I will pay full price. I LOVE it. I don’t want to paint it. It belongs HERE. I promise I will treat it well.

She texts back: Sorry, they get first dibs. I will let you know if they don’t show.

Devastation.

And then. Oh and then. As I am ready to leave for work today, a text: If you are still interested in the cabinet, it is still available. Let me know.

O.M.G.

Yes, yes, of course I am still interested! But then she wants it to be picked up during the day, and one minor detail – I work 2 hours drive away during the day. Frantic text messaging. I will come on the weekend. I will come at night. I will come during the day on Wednesday and take time off.

So far, no response. The stink of desperation exudes from my texts.

Love, it’s a b*tch.

Happy birthday, baby!

This sexy man turns 25 today. Happy birthday, my love! Welcome to the quarter-century year-old club.

This marks the 8th birthday that we’ve been together, and the 11th birthday we have had since we met each other – woah.

I am so fortunate to be the wife to a man who is hardworking, smart, loyal, thoughtful, drop dead sexy, a great pup father and a good foot rubber. I love you, dear. Hope this is the best year yet!

A quarter of a century flown by

Today I turned 25, and for some reason this feels like a monumental birthday to me. Growing up, I always saw 25 as being the official marker of adulthood. (Who considers a 21-year-old an adult, really?) It’s the age your car insurance goes down, it’s a quarter of a century, it’s the age my parents were when I was born. There’s no denying it now, I’m really an adult.

Years from now, looking back on this birthday, I want to remember how completely content I am. Madly in love with my husband. Gainfully employed in a job that is fulfilling on most days, working with people I genuinely love. Working in an entirely different field that I imagined 3 years ago. Gaining rich, rewarding volunteer experiences. Still close to the people who have been my friends for 12+ years now. Earning enough to not struggle much from month to month, and close enough to recent history when that wasn’t the case to really appreciate what that means. Living day to day life in our cute, tiny, cozy little house filled with my favorite man, my favorite furry friends. A still relatively new homeowner that marvels at the ability to paint walls, tear up flooring, and create a home. Proud caretaker of a fledgling perennial garden that isn’t weeded as much as it should be. Increasing confidence in the direction of my life, of my redefined career goals, of my growth as a woman, wife, future mother, friend, employee.

I can’t help but wonder what the next quarter century has in store.  In another 25 years, I hope to be the proud mother of one or two college graduates. To have established a slightly larger, but still just as cozy home on an acre or so where our children come back to visit us, to stay in a home that’s filled with memories for them.

From Countryliving.com

To have a huge king sized bed with a worn, lumpy mattress from Saturday morning cartoons in bed with our kids and our dogs piled under the covers.

To still be madly in love with my handsome husband, getting ready for a new section of our life as the parents of grown children. To be established in my career, and have my husband in a career he loves, too. To have the time to really give back. To have a huge garden that feeds us in the summer but also fills the house with beautiful perennial flowers.

From thousandislandslife.com

To have traveled to a country on a different continent (preferably multiple countries and multiple continents). To know how to finish a quilt from beginning to end. To be looking forward to watching my husband’s eyes light up at holding our first grandchild. (Woah.)

Life is a beautiful, surprising, joyful journey. I am so thankful for these first 25 years and all of the simple pleasures they have held. To the next quarter century.

Poor puppy

So usually on Sundays, I preschedule my blog posts for the remaining week, ensuring something is posted no matter how crazy the work week gets.

However, sometimes this backfires. My previous post, my tribute to sweet Anna, actually posted 1 day after she passed away. She passed away peacefully, in her sleep, while under the vet’s care. We were actually away for vacation/my step brother’s wedding at the time, and got the call early Friday morning. It was a heartbreaking start to a vacation, but probably the best. It was nice to be away from our house when starting to deal with the thought of the loss of one of my best friends.

Now we are home, and it’s strange to be here without her following me from room to room, hearing the click clack of her nails on the hardwood floors.

I am so thankful to know she is somewhere where she is not in pain, terrorizing our Scottish Terrier, Maggie. I am thankful she passed peacefully, and we did not have to make a tough decision. I am most of all thankful for our happy 15/16 years together, for the thousands of hugs, licks, walks, naps, pets, road trips and numerous other happy memories. She leaves a very noticeable 40 pound hole in our life, and will be so sorely, sorely missed.

Rest in peace, sweet Anna. We sure love you.

Friends for life

My Anna Banana, my best (canine) friend for the past 15 (or 16 … so old we have lost track) years, is getting old. Well, who am I kidding – she’s been old for at least 5 years now. But recently, well, the age is showing in more than just the gray muzzle on her face.

Arthritis has taken over her legs, and some days she can hardly walk. Her legs give out on her. She doesn’t even attempt to get up with out much prodding. She is not very interested in food. And, as much as it absolutely pains me to say so … I am afraid the end is near.

As a result, there has been a concentrated effort to take more photos of her recently. We’ve taken photos throughout her life, but as the end of life nears the necessity of capturing her sweet face is top of the mind.

You may have noticed, if you have been to my blog before … that calling me a dog person would be an understatement. Our dogs are our kids (for now) and loved to pieces. And although I vow to not choose favorites among our kids, when the time comes, Anna is my favorite. The other dogs can move into this position when they have been in my life for as long. My mom and I brought home Anna in 3rd (or was it 4th?) grade. Anna cried the whole ride home, with the stressful cry that only new puppies have as they are separated from their moms. In my infinite wisdom as a 3rd grader, I was convinced I knew the cure – singing her songs from the Lion King. Mom drove us home, me in the backseat holding the 8 pound puppy, rocking her like a baby and singing “Can You Feel the Love Tonight.”

Anna was such a chicken when we first brought her home, hiding in terror from our Scottish Terrier, Maggie. (This changed quickly as soon as she realized, a few months later, that she was much larger than Maggie.) My parents let me take the day off school to stay home with the puppy. She had cried all night and no one had slept much, but it was heaven – a whole day off school and a brand new puppy to play with. She hid under my robe at the slightest interest demonstrated by Maggie. It was a day of cuddles and laughs and puppy kisses/breath … heaven.

Anna is truly an outstanding family dog. In her younger years, she was always up to playing out in the snow with me, long walks in the woods, tolerated my uneducated attempt at agility training, happily slept on my bed since I was 10, was there for me through my parents’ divorce and breakups with boyfriends and fights with friends. Anna is a dog who loves all but has a favorite – and it’s me. I thought she would never forgive me when I went to college, and the thing that made me most homesick in college was leaving her behind. When I would visit home, she would immediately jump on my lap and refuse to move, as if she were forcing me to stay put and not return. I would whisper in her ear that as soon as I could find an apartment that let me have her, she could come and live with me. I was worried, as she was old even then, that she wouldn’t make it until that became true.

Alas, it’s hard to find an apartment that lets you have a dog that weighs more than 40 pounds. So in September of 2007, just a bit over 4 years after leaving for college, I bought my first house. Right around Halloween of that year, Anna came to live with me. All was right with the world.

You know dogs that just understand how you are feeling? That’s Anna. If you’re having a rough day, or tearful, she comes running to your side, climbs in your lap, licks your face.

Anna is the dog by which all future dogs will be judged. A sweet, gentle, protective soul. An amazing family dog. Tolerant of all people and puppies brought into her life. My best friend for more than half of my life. My constant companion when I was young, the anchor through my teenage years, the beacon calling me home through college, and the grounding force in our household.

Even Rufus is worried about Anna, and has been making it a point to lay near Anna more often.

Thanks, Anna, for being one of the best dogs and friends a girl could ask for.

2 years of bliss

Tomorrow is our 2nd wedding anniversary – seems hard to believe it’s been two years since that fateful trip to Estes Park, but at the same time it’s hard to imagine not being married.

It’s been an eventful 2 years. In no particular order, we have:

Celebrated the wedding of Dan and Allison (not pictured)

...using their wedding as a great excuse for a vacation in St. Louis, complete with seeing Stone Temple Pilots in concert

Embarrassed our dogs with our kissing

Went to Des Moines to celebrate baby cousin's birthday, stopped at train along the way.

Traveled to Pittsburg for a couple of football games. And traveled to Warrensburg, Arrowhead and Maryville for their football games.

Spent lots of time in Krug Park, near our house

Spent weekends visiting our family in Kansas City

Spent Halloween in Manhattan with friends, dressed as bacon and eggs

Visited Branson with my mom for a belated Christmas trip

Decorated a beautiful Christmas tree, twice

Spent New Year's Eve in Manhattan and watched the little apple drop. Watched two of our great friends get engaged.

Traveled to Tennessee for first anniversary. Got stuck on mountain for two days. Hiked to see two beautiful waterfalls.

Brought home Rufus, one of the cutest puppies ever

Spent weekend in Pittsburg with friends for Doug and Kristen's wedding

Watch Ben and Laura get married

Take fun weekend trip to Omaha, visit zoo and cool downtown

Spend 4th of July in beautiful Chamberlain, South Dakota

Remodel lots of parts of house, including new kitchen countertops, new wood floors, lots of painting, carpet stripping, bead board installing, new light fixtures and light fixture remodeling

Other highlights not included:

– Seeing Wicked

– Vince Gill in concert

– Holiday jazz concert

– Plays at the Unicorn

– Blondie in concert

– Lovely summer dinner at Castaways on the lake

– Day road trips to Lawrence, Weston and other places

– Al fresco dinners on the deck

– Hot tub parties with friends at our house

– Watching the fireworks in our neighborhood

– Shooting Star concert in Krug Park

– Lots of trips to farmers markets on Saturday mornings

– Sleepovers at Ben and Laura’s

– Making meals together

– Taking the dogs on walks on the parkway

It’s been an amazing, fun two years. I can’t to see what the next has in store. For sure it has a trip to St. Louis at the end of the month, a trip to some mountainous state in August, and hopefully a trip somewhere warm this coming winter. I am so thankful I get to go through life with my best friend. Life is never boring by his side. 🙂

A Valentine’s tribute

Warning to all readers: Schmaltz ahead. Feel free to ignore.

What would Valentine’s Day be without a tribute to my favorite person in the whole world?

My husband is amazing. Seriously. Right now, he is working fulltime while attending graduate school, and getting great grades to boot. He is a super hard worker, and does all of this while still managing to help around the house, feed the dogs, and be an attentive husband. In short, he is a saint.

He is the calm to my storm, the tall to my short, the skinny to my …  not so skinny, the love of my life and the bacon to my eggs.

Happy Valentine’s Day, dear readers.